This is part four of a four-part series on how to declutter, downsize, and organize.
By Sandie Timm, Professional Organizer
Perhaps the most daunting category of items for many folks to declutter is sentimental items. From your grandmother’s tablecloth to your children’s first shoes, objects that hold an emotional connection can be very hard to part with.
One of the most important tasks you can do is go through the mental exercise of questioning which items are truly sentimental. Is it sentimental because you’ve had it for a long time? Because it once belonged to someone you loved? Because at one point it was important to you?
We often hang on to items because they are “sentimental” without really considering just what makes the items special. The first step in this process is to truly think about whether an item is truly meaningful to you. If it is, then the suggestions below will help you decide how to move forward with it.
Please remember that there will be some items that you may never be willing to part with. For one person that may be their engagement ring. For another, it may be their father’s flannel shirt. It is okay to keep things that are meaningful to you! The important thing is to be thoughtful about what you keep and what you decide to pass forward.
Here are some tips for how to let go of sentimental items in ways that honor the memory of the items.
Take a photo.
We cannot possibly hang on to every item that has sentimental value. But we can take photos and create lovely photo books or albums.
One of my clients had bins full of her children’s art projects from their early childhood years. The bins were big and bulky, and carried from house to house when they moved. Sadly, because the bins were unsightly, they were stuck in the attic collecting dust. Her family never looked at the contents. During her last move, I encouraged her to go through all of the artwork one by one, selecting the most special pieces. I took photos of each piece and using Scribble made a photobook of the art. Those books are now on her family’s living room bookshelf and her kids page through them together, laughing at their works of art. How lovely it is that they are actually appreciating the art rather than having it hidden away in storage.
Offer the items to others.
The stone in my grandmother’s engagement ring was her birthstone, a topaz. As her oldest granddaughter, she gifted it to me. But I do not wear much jewelry and it made me sad that it was just sitting in my dresser. I offered it to my cousin who surprised me by her enthusiastic response. She believes that topaz stones attract abundance in health, wealth, and love and was thrilled to have her grandmother’s ring.
Allow someone else to benefit from it.
Items tucked away in storage aren’t honoring a memory or being put to good use. If you donate items to a thrift shop, you can be sure that the person buying it wants it and will use it. And you can feel doubly happy that your donation has contributed to the mission of the thrift shop.
As I helped a couple move from their 3-bedroom home to a small assisted-living unit, they had to make the hard decision not to take their wedding china. The night before they moved, their family sat down and ate a meal of Chinese take-out using the china, reminiscing about all of the lovely family meals they had with aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. A few tears were shed remembering those who were no longer with them.
The next day we packed up the china and brought it to their local county hospital’s thrift store. The volunteers practically squealed with glee knowing that it would be sold quickly and someone would enjoy dining with the beautiful dishes.
Don’t let a gift be a burden.
So many of my clients hang on to an item that they really do not want because someone gifted it to them. Remember that gifts were given to you with the hope that they would bring you joy. The joy often comes from being thought of, not from the gift itself. Separate your feelings of gratitude for the person from the gift itself. If the gift is not something you want to keep, think of how much more value it could have to someone who appreciates it and pass it on to someone or donate it to an organization that can sell it to someone who wants it.
Keep One.
Baby Boomers and generations before them often collected multiple pieces of like items – vinyl records, Hummels, comic books, stamps. In years past, people collected things for many reasons: as a way to show success; because they had bigger homes that they wanted to fill; because they believed the items would have monetary value. But today’s younger generations don’t tend to assign value to “stuff” and prefer a more minimalist aesthetic.
While some collector items have financial value (rare baseball cards or coins, for example), most items that people collect are not financially lucrative and future generations are left with the problem of what to do with them. If you feel like you want to commemorate the collection but don’t want all of the pieces, consider keeping just one item from the collection as a memento.
Honor the memory.
Most importantly, remember that most items’ values are in the memory of the owner or the giver, not the item itself. The love you have for your grandmother is in your memories of her, not the tablecloth. It’s okay to keep your memory of her alive in ways other than hanging on to things. Toast her at her favorite holiday meal, share stories of her, cook her signature dish, or visit her favorite place.
Letting go of sentimental items can be emotional. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself the time to process and reminisce. Be willing to ask for help from friends, family members, or professionals whose job it is to support others as they declutter.
Sandie helps clients create beautiful, organized spaces that allow simpler, calmer, and more efficient lives. Her love affair with simplifying and organizing started when she was a young girl arranging (and then rearranging) her bookshelves.
Her instinctual practice of keeping spaces organized and simple evolved into a ten-plus year career preparing homes for the market with the top real estate team in Silicon Valley and as a personal organizer to private clients––editing, downsizing, simplifying, organizing, and elevating people’s homes and lives.
Sandie@sandietimm.com | 650-796-3375 | Insta: @sandie_timm_home
Throughout the “The Nuts and Bolts” section of this blog, we will introduce you to the practical needs in retirement.